EDUCATION - KEEPING THEM HONEST

BULLYING

Today the Sydney Morning Herald had an article on bullying headed Young and abusive  - bullies rule  http://www.smh.com.au/news/national/young-and-abusive--bullies-rule/2006/07/10/1152383677671.html

It talked about bullying in schools and how it affects students.   One of the things about becoming a victim of targeted bullying is that it usually develops over time and generally  it is allowed to develop because of the lack of action by the adults.  Children notice.

It was happening to my youngest son.  He was terrified in school.  He said that the boys (and often the girls)  were so rough and aggressive that when they walked past you they would elbow you and push you out line and generally make your life miserable.   He was always scared because they were so unpredictable.   Nobody took any notice of it because they said its just "boys being boys" but for those who are sensitive and dont want to play the game its traumatic.   My son was punched in the stomach, he was spun around and let go off, his work was stolen and destroyed, lots of things happened in different schools and all the while whenever he tried to complain he was either ignored, ridiculed or he was blamed.  If I said anything I was told it was his perspective and he needed to go out and play football or I was branded an overprotective pushy mother.  My son said that the students noticed that the teacher didn't stick up for him so that gave them the green light to target him,  so that they could get on the teachers good side.  He felt as scared of the teachers as he did the kids.

The counsellor said it was my sons perspective.  My son said it was the reality of his life and that the counsellor couldn't help him if she couldn't do anything about the behaviour of other children and that there was no discipline and no control in the schools.

My son left the school to be put on Distance Education on psychological and medical grounds so that he could recover from his ordeal because the fear of going to school had made him very sick.   He didn't feel safe.  He has been on Distance Education for over 6 months.

Luckily the school who so kindly took  Amanda in this year for Year 6 is so happy with Amanda, and of course Amanda is so happy there too that they have agreed to integrate my son John into their school and together we are working to provide an environment where he feels validated, supported. protected and safe. 

Bullying is very traumatic for children.  Its isn't a joke and when the adults dont protect the children it becomes even worse. 

WEBLOG HAVING A REST

Well, this place is due for a Spring Clean,  so I am going to close the blog down for a week or so and do my,  over and above the call of duty housewife duties, and thoroughly clean the house. 

I have said my piece for now and now I am going to wait and see what happens.

The comments will be turned off.  If anybody desperately needs to contact me with like some really GOOD news you can contact me by email on j.challita01@optusnet.com   but otherwise I will see you at the other end.</b>

Teachers revolt.

Today the Sydney Morning Herald had an article headed "Teachers revolt over Computing test" http://www.smh.com.au/news/national/teachers-revolt-over-computing-test/2006/03/11/1141701732607.html

Teachers said that they would ban the year 10 Computing Skills Assessment test, which was due to be held for the first time this year in all NSW schools.

They blamed a shortage of computers in schools, a lack of teacher training, poor technical support and "dinosaur technology that should be thrown out".

Their decision followed heated debate at a Teachers Federation meeting yesterday, at which 300 teacher representatives voted unanimously against staging the test, which was due to take place in November.

"Our students are not ready to sit such a test," NSW Teachers Federation president Maree O'Halloran said.

"The State Government has not ensured that there are enough computers in schools, that there has been enough professional development of teachers and that there has been enough technical support for the computer systems to work properly.

"We are not prepared to stand by and let our students sit a test when they will be disadvantaged."

Ms O'Halloran said public school students would be disadvantaged in the exam compared with private school students, who are often provided with school laptop computers"

I personally think it is wonderful that teachers are starting to stand up for their students and bring awareness to the inequities and unfairness  in our system and actually speak out about it.

My concern is, why haven't they complained with such force about students from disadvantaged schools and from poorly funded public schools having to compete with Private school students for UAI marks and for places in University.   Its the same thing isn't it.   So why this big hoo ha about computers and silence in relation to the other tests.  For instance the Selective High School test is sat by a very large number of Private and Catholic School students and, in the Higher School Certificate tests Public School students have to compete with students from Private schools that are in optimal learning environments and have the most up to date faciliities and resources.

Time to take the complaint a little bit further teachers!  The whole system is unfair and works to segregate.  There is so much money being wasted by the Education system, money that could be put towards raising the standards of all Public Schools and providing support and resources to teachers and students.  Time to re-organise the administration of the system and properly manage things to ensure equity and fairness for all. 

Gifted children - Hidden Talents

The Age had an article on Gifted Children on 27 February 2006 called "Hidden Talents" http://www.theage.com.au/news/education-news/hidden-talents/2006/02/24/1140670263609.html?page=fullpage#contentSwap2

I can relate to feeling as though the marrow has been sucked out of my bones as a parent of 4 intellectually gifted children.  I wont even go into how my husband feels.  Nobody would want  to watch their children being systemically and purposely neglected, bullied, victimised and abused.   As parents you have to say or do something to stop it otherwise, you are as bad as one of them and you become an accessory.

I wrote to Professor Miraca Gross asking for help for my children in relation to what was being done and what was happening to my children and she responded with "You seem to be pursuing the issue through the formal channels which is a much more appropriate way to proceed"!  So much for being an advocate for gifted children and actually doing something to help gifted children who are being neglected and victmimsed.

Not too many people seem to care about gifted children as individuals, the sad thing is that they are just children who through no fault of their own are seen as "different" and as already possessing more then their share.   Gifted kids just want to learn and to enjoy their life and childhood.  Every child should have that right. 

I think it is important for children to mix with intellectual peers but what I think is even more important is for children to get recognition and support from the adults so that they feel validated and so that they feel worthy and valued as the unique individuals that they are.   

I will have to agree with one thing, there can never be a simple answer to a question when asking a braniac.   The response will invariably be "Well it depends!"   AARRGGGGGG.

Oh and one more thing,  I must say that the first time I have heard the word Braniac was a week ago, so I am wondering whether it is a new word to describe gifted kids or whether I am just slow.  My youngest daughter came home from school saying that the teacher had been talking about trees and she had asked the kids some questions about trees, because my daughter is accelerated and gifted  kids tend to automatically look at her for the answers and so my daughter turned to those on her table and said "I might be a braniac,  but I am not a gardener".   Her friends thought it was very funny.

I must say I prefer the word braniac to gifted.

Beautiful Children

I have been very stressed for the last week or so given the issues surrounding schooling for my youngest daughter Amanda.   I am so tired of having to continuously support my children emotionally and psychologically for damage that is done to them by adults  who should be taking care of them and should have their best interest at heart.

Anyway, I have beautiful children.   My eldest daughter always seems to have a knack of knowing when I need some support, so this morning when I went into my email she had sent me a little note it went like this: 

You've raised me to be who I am
You taught me wrong from right
You make me laugh and smile and
You make my life so bright.
You help me make decisions and
You help me achieve my best
And for you to be my mother
I know I am truly blessed      
I love you with all my heart mum
You are so beautiful indeed
Thank you for always being there
and for helping me to succeed

I so love my children and I am very lucky indeed.

Mental illness in children

The Daily Telegraph had an article today headed Threat to Safety http://dailytelegraph.news.com.au/story/0,20281,17762170-5001022,00.html its about the high incidence of mental illness in young children.

Now the article does say that cannabis and drugs aggravate the condition but usually Kindergarten, Year 3 and Year 6 children are not taking cannabis amphetamines and ecstasy !

What people don't realise is that there is a new generation of children that have been being born, and are being born, and they are highly sensitive and emotionally intense and they are living in an environment that is hostile and aggressive and that doesn't take children's feelings or psychological well being into consideration and that isn't required to care.  That environment triggers mental illness and that is why we are seeing more and more mental illness in society.   

Psychological harm is something that we are not protected from.  In the Ombudsman's report 2003 in Child Protection it said in relation to Psychological harm that; "This type of abuse is potentially more destructive than other forms of abuse but is seldom the focus of research or intervention. For an allegation to be accepted as being in our jurisdiction , it must include three components.

1. Sustained or repeated behaviour directed at a particular child including humiliation, belittling, verbal abuse or making excessive demands, or a single incident that resulted in severe repercussions for a child

2. A claim that a child has suffered harm including bed wetting, refusal to attend school or sleep distrubances.

3. A claim that the alleged harm was a direct result of the alleged behaviour.

In the opening paragraph of this section the Ombudsman's report says: We use a definition of behaviour causing psychological harm that is quite narrow and only covers serious persistent and targeted maltreatment of children.

.......In other word a child has to be on his death bed holding a written confession before they will even consider investigating it!

The laws need to be changed. Our children are not protected and if we are not protecting the children then we are failing in our duty of care.

Its the way we treat people that has the most significant impact on their mental and physical wellbeing.

HO, HO, HO, MERRY CHRISTMAS

Merry Christmas everybody.  We hope Santa is kind and able to be generous to you all.

Allegations of child abuse

Today the Daily Telegraph had an article on Carers Accused http://dailytelegraph.news.com.au/story/0,20281,17634231-5001022,00.html

Now of course the process that the Department of Community Services has used of  discrediting a foster parent and branding them a child abuser (which is essentially what this is) is for a purpose.  It is so that if anything ever happens to one of these children  it appears, on their records that it is now the responsibility of the Commission of Children and Young people.  On their records they have done something, yet they haven't done a thing except discredit the foster parent.  Then they can just blame each other and say that they only went on what they were told if anything happens.

The situation must not be too serious for them if they don't  feel any need to remove the foster child from their care or even give the foster parent a fair and proper opportunity to challenge the allegations - yet on paper they are presenting a different picture.  The system works on what is on paper as they have control over that.

Now I have had dealings with Government Departments in relation to allegations of child abuse, in my families matter it is psychological abuse causing physical, psychological and emotional harm.  My allegations against those employed by the Government have said to be "not sustained".  There hasn't been a proper or fair investigation of my allegations either yet the allegations against the carers are sustained on the word of the one that made the allegations, yet in my case they took the word of those that I allege are responsible.   There is a pattern here and it is obviously a process to cover up.  This process is designed to protect the reputation of those employed by the Government and they really don't give a damn who they hurt or who suffers. 

There needs to be fair and proper avenues to address serious allegations, especially if they involve children. The Ombudsman is no good, he uses the same process as the Government.   

Problems with Typepad

There appears to be a problem with Typepad and some recent posts and comments are not showing at different times..   They are apparently at present fixing the problem but I dont know when the blog will be back to normal.

If the blog is not up to date you might want to check back later to see if the problem has been fixed.

The Race Card

I really believe that we need to take away the power that the word “racist” gives to certain groups.

Discrimination based on malice and spite should be against the law regardless of who you are or where you are from. 

White Australians don’t have the power of using the race card to get their way and that makes them feel frustrated and as though they don’t have equal rights and protection.

Did you know that it is against the Law to discriminate because of race,   but it’s not against the law to discriminate against someone if they are seen as gifted or superior?

How is that fair?   

Racism

I have a suggestion on how to address these issues at the beach.

Firstly and most importantly we need to deal harshly with bullies as they are growing up regardless of where they come from or who they are.  This softly softly no blame approach to bullying and aggressive behaviour just doesn’t work, all it does is give bullies power and protection.   You only need one bully and the rest will follow.   

Once we deal seriously with bullies and bullying behaviour, that will address a lot of the vilification and harassment that is common amongst our youth that feeds the violence.

Then we need to have some beach rules and that would include swimming costumes to be worn at the beach for swimming.   Surely the Muslim community can come up with some beach attire  for their culture that better fits the Australian Beach Culture.  Aussies need to feel that Muslims understand how they feel and are trying to fit in.   The way it is now Aussies feel that our Government bends over backwards to accommodate the Muslim way without giving consideration to how the Australians feel about it or whether they agree!

Racism rears its ugly head

Today is a very sad day here in The Shire. 

We live in the Shire and my children are of Lebanese background and I can tell you that I am scared.  Scared for my children, scared for all children and scared for what is happening in our society.

I think that the day needs to come where we take the focus off the Race Card.   Anybody who discriminates against another person out of malice or spite should be put before the Law to answer for their actions.  It shouldn't matter if it is because of race or religion or gender etc.

We focus everything on race and that fuels the problem.

I also think that we need to get really tough on Bullying and bullies especially as they are growing up.  This softly softly, no blame approach doesn't work.  These kids that bully and harass others in the playground, and there is alot of that happening in the Shire, should be dealt with so that they understand that there will be consequences.  Bullying is terrible here in the Shire in  Primary Schools.   Two of my children are on Distance Education because they are terrified to go to school because of the bullying and they say that the teacher not only ignore it, they protect the bully.

If my children are right then what is coming out of the Primary schools here is going to be even more aggressive, angry and hostile than what we have seen at Cronulla yesterday.

Its time to get tough on all bullies, regardless of where they come from or who they are!

Racism

Today the Sydney Morning Herald had this article on racism headed "Lets take back out beach" http://www.smh.com.au/news/editorial/lets-take-back-our-beach/2005/12/09/1134086804756.html

I must say that I don't agree that acceptance is gained by behaving as if they are accepted.  It will make no difference because the fact is that they are not accepted.  You cannot expect people to be act the way you want them to act and become Robots, everybody is different and it is supposed to be a free country.  Its a two way street. The beach belongs to everyone - in-groups and out-groups alike.

I believe that until such time as we address the roots of the racism and come to some sort of understanding and agreement on how to address the issues - nothing will change.   There needs to be acknowledgment on both sides as to their part in the problem as both sides are guilty of racism. Everybody is racist to a degree. 

Aussies have to stop telling Lebanese to go home and to not come to their beach.  There is no Lakemba beach so where exactly do they want them to go........Lebanese need to calm down and to see it from the eyes of the Aussies.  Lebanese do tend to congregate in large groups and the are loud and some do need some lessons in manners.   As do some Aussies. 

We need to learn to get along and understand what it is that causes so much hostility.  I believe that they should hold open televised debates, as many as is necessary and allow these boys an opportunity to express their anger and frustration in a controlled environment so that they don't have to resort to violence. Adults should be setting a good example here, communication is the only thing that is going to make a difference.  We need to hold these debates across Australia so that all of these boys who are angry and have something to say can say their piece, feel that they are being heard and at the end when the boys are tired of talking then some sort of agreements can be made on a compromise so that they can learn to get along. 

We have to teach our youth to be open and honest and to communicate so that there is understanding and hopefully from that will develop compassion and empathy.

Oh and another thing.  We need to make parents responsible.   I know my teenage son commented on how it would be interesting to go to Cronulla on Sunday to see what was going on and my response was "over my dead body".   Parents need to stand up and take some control and responsiblity over their children.  They should forbid their  boys and girls from going to the beach in circumstances like these and help the Police stop the situation from escalating. 

Racism amongst our Youth

Today the daily telegraph  had this story headed call for calm over local revenge http://dailytelegraph.news.com.au/story/0,20281,17492852-5001021,00.html

The story was about racial tensions in the Sutherland Shire and in particular at Cronulla Beach.  Now we live in the Sutherland Shire and my teenage son frequents Cronulla.  He  goes out to the point to surf with his  friends,  mainly Aussies, and so he doesn't actually hang on the beach so he doesn't seem to see too much of this happening.  Thank God. 

However,  I am now scared for him to go to the Beach.  Racism and negative feelings in the Sutherland shire towards Lebanese and even other ethnics groups are not new.  We came to live in the Shire 11 years ago and found that there were hardly any ethnics living here at that time and in particular Lebanese.   The so called Anglo's here  called it "Gods Country"  and we felt it was said to mean that the Shire was pure and hadn't been infiltrated with ethnics -  ethnics were not warmly welcomed.   

My children are of Lebanese background and we have felt the attitude and the tension in the shire. Its is very hurtful.   My children are mixed so they sit in the middle.  It is a difficult place to be.

Now with the problem at the beach.  I can understand why people get scared when they see a group of Lebanese boys/men walking together.   Let me tell you I also get scared when I see a group of Aussie men/boys walking together.   We have been programed to fear those  in groups and in particular those of Middle Eastern Appearance. 

The difficulty is that  these Lebanese boys have had to deal with so much racism, unfair treatment and hatred and many of them are at a point where they easily explode.   Sure its not a good enough excuse for violence but  then we have the Aussies,  they know that they can pretty much aggravate the ethnics and so long as they keep it just below the line and don't throw the first punch then the ethnics will be blamed if they react or rebel.   It isn't difficult to discredit a person of Lebanese background given the present climate. The Aussies want to get rid of the ethnics and they know just how to go about it whilst coming out looking squeaky clean.

As far as I am concerned this all goes back to the way bullying is dealt with at schools.   This no blame method that is used is causing the problems!   We need to pay more attention to the "Why" things are reaching the levels that they are at and work on addressing that first.  We need to address bullying and tormenting and although it might be that we shouldn't  punish bullies harshly-  to not even place blame tells the bully that what they are doing is acceptable and does not validate the victim of the bully. This causes resentment and anger and resentment and anger leads to aggression and violence.  Bullies thrive in this type of environment and then it spills out into the community.  That is where we are at today.

When issues are not addressed properly and fairly sooner or later things have to explode.

Protecting the Children

Today the Sydney Morning Herald had an article on Children's deaths follow blunders http://www.smh.com.au/news/national/childrens-deaths-follow-blunders/2005/12/07/1133829664232.html

What concerns me about all of this is the apparent ease the system seems  to have in closing matters.    It seems to be a common thing.   Now whilst there is now way that you can compare my families complaints and issues to what happened to these poor children one thing that there seems to be in common is the ability of the System to "Close" matters internally and at will without addressing the issues or without ensuring that children are safe.  They also seem to all follow the same process of not cross checking and having matters independently looked into when there is a problem.

This is a serious flaw in our system and it is designed to protect the systems reputation arising out of their failures.   When they close a matter its often to cover up something.   They use the excuse of lack of funding, overwork etc.,  but that doesn't take away from the fact that the system is failing in their duty of care to the children.   

Something needs to be done. It is no good the Ombudsman saying something after the deaths.  What about the large amount of matters that were referred to the Ombudsman?  Less than 0.1% of those were investigated.  The word of those that closed the matter is often sufficient for those that are looking at it.  There are no avenues to have independent persons assess matters that have been deemed closed, there are no avenues for complainants to have issues addressed impartially and to any level of satisfaction.

The system is set up to cover up and our children are paying the price!

Kids need cuddles.

The Sydney Morning Herald had an article today headed "Depriving babies of cuddles does long term damage', http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2005/11/22/1132421669263.html .  This doesn't come as a surprise to me!     I want to cut it out and stick it on my mothers fridge.....I don't know how much criticism I received because I held my babies alot.  They were very colicky and had silent reflux and they cried almost non stop.  I  basically carried them for the first few years of their life - all four of them.   Yes my back is killing me....

I just felt that if my baby is crying then my baby  needed me and I had to  hold them.  Grandma was not impressed. Its the only way that babies know how to communicate and if you don't respond then that will have a negative effect on their emotional and psychological development.   I really don't agree with all this leaving your baby cry, although I do realise that there are times that certainly it is necessary.   So long as you don't ignore more than you respond then that's okay.  Babies need to learn that if they seek attention it will be responded to and not ignored, otherwise they can develop attention seeking problems and behavioural issues.

And, before you ask, no they are not spoilt rotten.  They are wonderful kids, although at times they do drive me bannanas......