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November 24, 2005


Jolanda, I didnt not say that the youth are not drinking and taking drugs.

I disagree with your statements that accuse many parents of giving their children drugs.
acuse many parents on giving other 14 year olds alcohol.

I said that teenages go though a phase and most grow out of it fairly quickly. Just like probably you!

I disagree with you stating that its FACT.
its not FACT that many parents give their children drugs and alcohol.

Jolanda: There are many parents giving their teenagers alcohol and that is a fact. There are also some parents allowing their children to take drugs, or turning a blind eye to their drug taking and even giving it to them, or giving them the money for it - that is also a fact. I personally know many parents that financially support their children's drinking and even drug taking.

It's not that they necessarily want it to be like that, its just that there isn't too much that they can do. Parents justify it by saying that its better and safer that the kids to do it at home, and get it from them than do it in the park or on the street etc.

They are facts. There are many parents allowing it because the push towards alcohol and drugs is very strong and it isn't easy to go against the grain - you can become an outcast. It is a fact! Believe it or not!

Kathy Farrelly

Jolanda your writing is not offensive, nor are you discrediting parents.This person is way over the top and is being deliberately provocative.This is the feeling I get from reading this persons post.Heck he/she doesn't even have the courtesy to leave a name cheers Kathy

Jolanda: Maybe you are right Kathy! I do find that I tend to attract people who enjoy stirring me up. Actually, I hope that you are right, because the alternative is a worry.

Kathy Farrelly

Jolanda I'm with you on this one. I also smell a rat! I think this person is trying to bait you. If I were you I would just ignore him/her.

cheers Kathy Farrelly

Jolanda: Thanks Kathy. I am not so sure that what I am dealing with here is a rat that is trying to bait me. I honestly think that there are parents out there who think like this. They deny everything and that justifies nothing being done about it.

So good to hear that I am not the only one that feels that there are problems that need to be addressed.

I didnt say my statements were FACTS you did.. I have lived trough two teenagers. Your facts come from what you have been told and read and what you say people have told you. stories!

In the way you write you discredit parents, and they dont deserve it.

your writing is offensive!
what you say is not FACT. it your opionion based on what you have READ and what you have been told. You have stated that your children have not yet there and every year is a bonus. what age are they JOlanda. are they 17 and 22???????

You accuse many parents of giving their children drugs.
You acuse many parents on giving other 14 year olds alcohol.

If you know of SOMEONE that has done this, say i know SOMEONE that gave there children drugs dont say MANY parents give there children drugs.

unless your children have experienced this, do not accuse parent of such things. they dont derseve it.

You paint a very negitive picture of our youth and their parents.

I dont claim to be an expert. You seem to have many FACTS about many things.

You make outrageous statements!

Jolanda. How can my statements be outragous! Are you trying to tell me that our youth are not drinking and not taking drugs? For goodness sake - You said so yourself, you said drinking, drugs etc,. is a stage that they go through. Problem is that you think that just because many of them get through okay, and your kids were particularly fine, then its not a problem. You accept it. However I think it is a problem and I dont accept it. Its a problem for the kids that dont get through okay it and that number is growing. IF you dont acknowledge a problem then it doesn't get fixed! I dont think I am an expert. It is just my opinion. This is only a blog! If you dont agree, then dont agree but I dont for the life of me know why you are taking this so personally.

I am sure that most will agree that there are parents out there who struggle with their own issues and they find it difficult to discipline the children. Many people have issues due to circumstances like divorce or illness or financial problems or even just personality clashes. I am not discrediting parents, I dont know why you think that I am! We are all human. Nobody is perfect. We all need understanding and help to raise our children. I cannot understand your take on this matter. Why are you taking this so personally? This isn't about the adults. Its about protecting the kids and helping the kids make good choices and setting good examples.

You seem to believe that I am not living my life and that I am somehow just reading and hearing about my own life. Earth to annonymous poster!. "I am human and when I see something with my own eyes or hear something with my own ears or feel something, it is happening to me and with me so it is FACT, its not a story or a tale.

I have 2 teenage children (live ones) big ones, one is over 6ft and 2 more children going towards teenager years - quickly. I have 4 children actually - 2 more than you! So what, that your children are a little older than mine, that should tell you that I am more up to date with the now and you are still a bit back then.

Whilst I cant say that I am living my life through my kids, like you seem to say you are, I do see and hear them in order to find out what is happening, they are not stories, our lives are real. They are facts to me just like what you believe are facts to you. AND THAT IS A FACT.

There are some great parents out there and some not so great parents out there. That is also a fact. In my experience (when I was awake and living my life and seeing with my own eyes) many parents do let their underage teenage children drink alcohol and they even buy it for them. They do this because they know that they cant beat them and they havent got the strength to try, so they join them. They believe that it is better that the kids drink alcohol that they bring themselves, rather than drink somebody elses and risk having thier drinks spiked. There are a whole range of justifications for allowing it. Its very hard for parents to stop this trend on their own, parents have to stick together.

For the life of me I cannot understand why you find me so offensive.

you say that your info comes from a reliable source: "My information comes from the most reliable of sources." whos opinion is that- yours.
i say that my sources say that most teenagers today and most parents today don't use drugs and only few teenagers binge drink. I say that my source is reliable too. WHAT MAKES YOU AN EXPERT ON EVERYTHING.

Your nieces and newphews and the youth that you say you have spoken to, does not make it FACT. Unless you have experienced it first hand, these are stories that you have been told. that is the differences. My eldest is 22 and I have experienced the youth of today and I say that most go through a small phase and that is it. the ones that continue are usually the ones that have abusive backgrounds.

IE: Unless you have seen with you own eyes, its stories.

Jolanda, remember when you were a teen, did it happen a lot or a little. If you were amonst it, you would think, it happened alot, if you never saw it or experienced it, you would say it didnt happen.

I would say that most parents would be unaware of this activity, the kids do it behind their back, as its always been! I cant imagine any parent saying its ok to takes drugs or to drink in excess. Thats insane.

"Kids are needing more and more to reach their highs and they are starting younger and younger." statements like this should not be said unless they are true not based on what you have been told.

"Many parents dont discourage it and they allow it because that is exactly what they did and do." statements like this should not be said unless that are true not based on what YOU think.

Jolanda: Oh, okay I get it. Your facts come from your children and your sources and they are facts and reliable because you said so and although my facts come from my experiences, children and my sources and are also extremely reliable what I say are just stories or views as opposed to your facts?

Is that because what I see isn't the same as what you see? I guess I would have to ask you the same thing "Who made you the expert".

If I was to use your line of thinking then what you say is also not FACT and it is just your view! Are you suggesting that I am a liar? What possible motive could I have for lying about this most serious issue. If you are saying that I am lying then what are you basing that assumption on - your FACTS! You seem to want to pretend that what I am saying doesn't exist even though you know that there are children and parents out there caught up in this. YOu seem to justify it by saying it isn't many. One is one too many and research will show that the percentages add up to numbers that are significant. La La Land must be a great place to live. I have seen this all with my own eyes, over and over........I too have teenage children now and family members and friends that are teenagers now!!. Like I said, my information comes from reliable sources. Why do you think that your sources are reliable and mine are not? Maybe somebody was trying to pull the wool over your eyes? Or do you just believe that because I am aware of all of these things, that we must all be bad people so nobody should believe anything that I say or care anyway. My eyes are open, I refuse to pretend we live in a perfect world because we dont. Until we all identify and acknowledge the problems and issues nothing is going to change.

What I say is all true and it is supported by research. Do some investigating before you start commenting.

This is not based on what "I think" I have seen all this with my own eyes, it is well researched and documented and it is a well known fact! It may not be the majority of children but more and more are getting caught up in it and like the article said the figures are significant and a worry, didn't you read the article? You can believe it or not if you wish, but dont try to discredit me and what I know to be facts for certain groups and people.

I wonder, was the person who wrote the article that I referred to lying too

I think that most parents would not give their children drugs or supply them with alcohol for binge drinking. Maybe its the people that you know.
The less than 1% is for PARENTS that YOU claim GIVE their children drugs. Not the % of kids that experiment with drugs and alcohol. Your world is very sad. Sure there are teenages that drink but more than not it is a phase that they grow out of very quickly. most parents dont ignore signs of this behaviour as it is not good for they welfare of their children. Most parents CARE about their children and their childrens future and try to protect their children. most parent teach their children about the affects of these things. What you know for a FACT I would pressume is based on the people you talk to, STORIES. YOUR COMMENTS ARE NOT FACTS AND ARE NOT THE NORM IN FAMILIES.

Jolanda: Of course "most" parents wouldn't give their children drugs or supply then with alcohol for binge drinking. Problem is that you dont need it to be "most" for it to be a problem. YOu only need to have a few parents who allow this kind of activity in their home or that turn a blind eye to it and guess what - thats where everybody goes........Parents really cant do much about it especially when nobody else seems to be concerned about it or even accept that the problem exists. Alot of parents are from the baby boomer period where drugs and drinking was cool and everybody was in on it and they still do it. They dont see these issues the same way others do. They think that these are just kids experimenting and they will turn out okay and many do - but what about those that dont! Many parents dont discourage it and they allow it because that is exactly what they did and do. Problem is that drugs are alot harsher today and alcohol is being consumed in amounts that is alarming. Kids are needing more and more to reach their highs and they are starting younger and younger. These parents and children dont see it a such a bad thing but it causes damage to the kids, both mentally and physically and it is being taken during the most crucial time of a childs education and development.

This has got nothing to do with whether a parent cares about the child or not. Of course the vast majority of parents care about their child and no parent aspires for their child to be a no hoper. It has to do with a trend towards drinking amongst our youth and even drug taking, somthing that is also a problem amongst many adults, and it is not my imagination and it is not my stories. My information comes from the most reliable of sources.

Maybe you could explain to me why what you say are FACTS and what I say are STORIES. Why is it that what you say is different. Do you believe that because I am aware of what is happening out there amongst sections of our youth and population that I must be some sort of bad person and hang around with "bad people". It doesn't have to be happening to my children for me to see it as a problem. Every child is important.

Just because it isn't the vast majority doesn't mean that it isn't a problem. It is not getting better. It is getting worse and we need to acknowledge that fact and find out ways to stop our youth from engaging in this behaviour and find them a different focus as this type of behaviour can cause serious health issues later on in life, can ruin a childs career and future it is a bad influence on others and it spreads.......

DONT BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU READ. MOST PARENTS ARE JUST LIKE YOU. I WOULD SAY THAT PARENTS THAT GIVE THEIR CHILDREN DRUGS ARE PROBABLY THE DRUG ADDICTS IF THAT. NOT THE NORM OR RUN OF THE MILL PARENTS. I WOULD SAY THAT PERCENTAGE WISE IT WOULD BE LESS THAN 1%. RE alcohol, there is a law in providing kids under age with alcohol. in saying this, lot of ethnics give children wine from a young age, and some aussie let their kids have a sip of beer. i have heard of parents allowing kids at approx 15-16 to have one drink in their company on special occasions as they believe that this would stop them from doing it behind their back. again you make everything seem so servere. Most parents arnt dumb!

Jolanda: I am not going on things that I read. I have alot of insight into these matters and I have spoken to alot of youth. The incidence of alcohol and drug use is far more than 1%. You must really be living in a comfy little bubble if you believe that 99% of young people do not take drugs or drink alcohol in excess and they do the right thing.

Sure ethnics allow their children to have sips of alcohol. I am ethnic and my parents allowed us to have a sip of beer and even wine. If my children want to have a sip of beer or wine they would be allowed too. I am not talking about sips of beer or wine. I am talking about binge drinking amongst teenagers and drug taking. It is becoming an epidemic and its a hell of alot more than 1%. There are alot of children doing it and they are getting younger and younger and I know for a fact that many parents know what their children are doing, many buy their children the drinks or turn a blind eye and even provide the environment for their children to engage in these types of activities and justify it. You dont have to be an alcoholic or a drug addict! Some parents are social heavy drinkers themselves and some also use recreational drugs socially - others just have no control over thier kids influences or actions. Kids these days are very independant, stubborn and strong willed and they have RIGHTS!

Things are severe and at the extreme and nothing will change whilst people still choose to believe that there isn't a problem.

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